Sword and Dagger
by N7-SpaceHamsters
Summary: A rogue fights in the shadows, hidden from the world, a whisper in the night. They must be graceful and strong; their focus must not waiver. But what happens to a rogue when something other than her duties catches her eye? Distractions can be dangerous, but he was not a distractions she could fight.
1. Quiet Evenings

**AN/ A series of one shots with my Inquisitor Emery Trevelyan that closely tell the story of the Inqistion. Please leave comments and opinions, I'd love to hear them. Thank you all so much, I hope you enjoy! :)**

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The soft gentle light of tens of candles painted the room golden and warm. Long lazy shadows stretched over the war table, a small shadow of green clouding the Western Approach where the Herald's hand rested. She watched the light flicker and dance on her palm in exhausted fascination. Her eyes burned from hours spent writing reports of her time in the hinterlands and her meeting with mother Gisele. Ink-stained the tips of her fingers and was buried beneath her nails. Fingerprints dotted the map near where her head lay and her eyes felt heavy with sleep. Upon her retune to Haven she had been met with no long desired relief of rest, but instead ordered to write her reports while dirt from the journey still covered her hands. She did so without complaint, for Cassandra was a woman she would rather not be on the bad side. Having been on the wrong side of the warrior's blade once before.

The young Lady Trevelyan's eyes had slowly begun to close the temptation of sleep to great for her to fight, but the heavy sound of the door opening jostled her awake. It hadn't been much, the quiet patter of footsteps out in the hall had dispersed over time and she had long since stopped listing to them.

Emery sat up quickly paper sticking to her cheek only to flutter down to her lap upon her hasty rising. There in the doorway stood the Inquisitions military commander. Dressed in full armor and looking perfectly put together, as always. Emery quickly rubbed the sleep from her eyes and moved to stand upon his entry.

"Commander," She began, voice gravely and heavy from sleep. She winced at the sound of her own voice before quickly trying to recover, "I was just working on some reports." He gave her a small smile as if to ease her fridge reaction.

"Not to worry Herald, I just came to drop off some reports of my own. I apologize, I didn't mean to disturb you." He explained, his smile grew as he looked at her, he looked on the edge of humor as if holding back a laugh. A look of confusion cut across the Heralds tried features and the man before her let a chuckle escape his posed nature. The sound was deep but soft, it made Emery happy just hearing it. The casual sound coming from the man of pure professionalism seemed to break his constant barrier of order. To see him act so relaxed only went to further fuel the young nobles secret longing for the man. What was he like when he didn't guard himself?

Despite getting caught up in the sound of the man's laughed Emery Trevelyn still had no idea why he was laughing at all. She looked at him in question, having gained control of her girlish joy.

"Forgive me my Lady, but you have ink on your face." The Herald's eyebrows shot up and she quickly scampered around her chair and rushed over to the polished shield that hung on the wall by the door. The silver metal revealing a skewed and distorted image of herself, black ink smear from her left eye over the bridge of her nose and down onto her right cheek. She realized with horror that it had no doubt been the result of when she had rubbed her eyes.

"Maker be damned!" She cursed as she tried to rub the stain away, only succeeding in making the ink dark and spreading it further. She let out a sigh of frustration and turned back to the commander as he still stood in the entryway, smile still gracing his scarred lips. Something about his smile made Emery feel that her embarrassment was for a good cause, to see the man smile. But the heat that pricked into her cheeks and ears was not from happiness.

"I have no idea how I'm going to get this off." She said with a sigh, wanting to drop her head into her hands but not willing to risk more damage.

"You look a little like Hawke," He said with a chuckle. Emery returned her gaze to his, eyes warm and not burning with disappointed and annoyance as she was all but sure Cassandra would have been.

Emery chuckled, despite never having met the champion in person she knew of Cullen's dealings with Hawke back in the Kirkwall Free Marches. Varric spent much of their time in the Hinterlands telling them stories of the trouble he and his companions had found themselves in, time and time again.

"I don't think I pull it off as well as she does." Emery chimed, recalling the flawless image of Hawke that decorated Varric's book cover.

"I don't know, I happen to think it suits you." He said as he walked further into the room to set his gathered reports down on the end of the war table.

"Then perhaps I should trademark it," Said said with humorous pride. "Yes, a black ink stain across my face, to strike fear into the hearts of my enemies!"

"I'm not sure fear is the right word." He said with a smile, he held his chuckle and his voice did not break in humor this time. Emery looked up at him for he had since drawn to stand just past the curve of the table where she had been seated. His sudden proximity made her throat feel tight and her words catch in her chest.

"I must look rather ridiculous," She said looking down at her ink stain hand as she ran them through one another to avoid the man before her direct gaze. Her voice having since lost its mock confidence and reverting to a much quieter more reserved tone. She felt suddenly too hot, and too close but she didn't want to move away. Lest he think she was rude and even worse yet, lest he think she didn't like it.

"Well, for someone who hasn't had a proper night's rest in weeks, has been constantly on the move and then forced to spend the night writing endless reports, you look rather wonderful." The blush in her cheeks burned even brighter and she had to force herself to control her reaction. Instead of looking up fast and shocked as she wanted she met his eyes calmly and found her words with poise, a few moments spent quickly stringing them together.

"I can't tell if that's a compliment or an insult, Commander." He smirked, his scar arching with his lip, a great distraction to the Herald.

"A compliment of course. Who would I be to insult the Herald of Andraste?"

"You'd have to be very bold." She said playfully, unaware where this confidence seemed to pull from. Perhaps her overworked mind through little of filtering her thoughts any longer.

"You've known me long enough to know I am bold in few ways my Lady." He said gently, but the sleep-deprived Herald felt no reward in letting him pass gentlemanly like.

"Very true, I wouldn't be opposed to finding out some of the more private ways you assert yourself boldly." The slick nature of the comment made the man's smirk morph into shock then embarrassment. A red blush snaking up his collar, into his cheeks all the way to the tips of his ears.

"I uh." Emery smiled for she once again had him at a loss for words. She smiled further momentarily forgetting of the ink on her face. The man took several steps away from her, running his hand over the back his neck as to her averted his eyes from hers.

"I should probably turn in for the night." He said backing closer and closer to the door. Lady Trevelyan smiled as she thought of further possibilities to torment the man by. But decided again them.

"Is it rather late?"

"I-" He looked up at her relieved by the common nature of her question. "Yes, it is. Most of the hold has gone to bed." She looked over at the half-written draft of her report, then back to the commander.

"Do you think Cassandra will kill me if I leave my reports to be finished until tomorrow?" He gave her a small chuckle as he followed her gaze to the mess of papers.

"I think you're more than safe from her rage for now. If memory serves me right she to has turned in for the evening." With a sigh of relief, Emery stepped for the door until she stood almost directly beside the commander.

"Good, then perhaps I can make it back to my cabin without anyone else seeing me." She laughed to herself. "What a story that would be, Herald of Andraste, sneaking back to her quarters in the middle of the night with ink all over her face. A grand boost to my image."

"Careful, if Varric gets a hold of an idea like that I'm sure it will become a much more scandalous tale." She groaned head rolling back, blond hair just long enough to reach the end of her neck as she bent back.

"The scolding I would get from Cassandra would be more legendary than the tale of the Warden." Cullen chuckled at her joke.

"It's good fortune that you're a rogue then." She smiled up at him as he opened the door and let her walk out in front of him.

"I suppose all that time sneaking around in the dark might just be good for something after all."

"Avoiding the seeker?"

"Of course, that woman scares me more than the blighted demons do." He laughed and the sound bounced off the empty chantry halls. His eyes went wide as he looked around in apologize as if he were afraid of waking someone in the empty building. The Herald smiled up at him while he wasn't looking.

"Perhaps I should follow your example and be a little quieter." He said with a soft chuckle as the pair walked through the large main doors into the snowy outside.

"Careful commander, if words get's out that you and I were sneaking about Haven together in the late hours, people might start to draw assumptions." His cheeks redden and she wasn't sure if it was the sudden cold wind or her witty comment. She hopped it was the ladder.


	2. New friends, Old Scars

The cold wind of the Frostback Mountains swept over the frozen lake with force. Small flurries of snow and ice danced in swirls of white around the Herald. The thick sheet of frozen water creaked and groaned as it shifted before her. The pale browns of the paths and hills of stone around her weaved through speckling clusters of dark evergreen trees dusted with snow. So quiet, cold and somehow seemingly perfect. It was nothing like the warm seasides of Ostwick and in this way, it comforted the young Herald. Her homelands carried scars and reminders of the broken shambles her family lay in, the cold heart of Ferelden promised hope of something different.

There was a spark and jump at her palm and Emery looked down to her gloved hand, her mark concealed from view but the energy still pulsed beneath the thin leather garment. It was calmer than it first had been. It didn't push past the leather of the glove as it sometimes did, it's magic had slowed and lulled for the time being. The thought of family and strong emotions seemed to give it energy to feed off of, waking it with a spark.

Cassandra had suggested she cover it, the ghostly unknown mark seemed to frighten those who bear witness to it. So for the comfort of those around her, Lady Trevelyan covered it. It felt wrong and shameful, as though the supposed gift from Andraste was to be hidden away like one of her dark secrets.

The young noble felt another twist in the palm of her hand and looked over her shoulder. There was no one nearby, save for the men off practicing their sparing on the hill before Haven's walls. No one lingered around the lake, the stables and forge were bent out of view by a stone hill, no one was there. Carefully, one finger at a time the Herald pulled off her glove. The bright green light pouring out at the first sign of freedom it found. She kept her fingers curled around the green light as she inspected the area around her again. She had chosen that spot to think due to its lack of people, its view and its proximity to the Commander's place of work. Emery knew no one could see her, she could see everyone who lingered and all those of any nearness were rather occupied.

She took a breath and unraveled her fingers. The bright green light spilling over her pale skin, dancing over the cuts and scars that littered her hand and arm from years of learning combat. The light was so bright it pulsed with every skip and jump of the breach.

The bright green light so hot and intense at the center of her hand it almost appeared white, like the heart of a flame it was the brightest, the strongest.

She moved her figures in thought of how it felt to have the magic pour out from her flesh into the world. To see that this thing she thought and imagined could come to creation without being crafted or bought like every other weapon she wheeled. This was not a skill to be learned but a physical part of herself, it was unique to her. Perhaps that was the most unsettling part of it all.

She had been given this without want or knowledge of it. She could not read about this somewhere and learn to understand it, could not be taught and trained in its use. No this was something no one understood and out of all the people who had been at the conclave, it had fallen to her.

Dumb luck, her brother would have called it. Fate, that other would have argued. Guilt was all she felt for it. Someone else, someone better should have lived in her place. Hundreds had attended, hundreds greater and more important than she. Someone else could have been given this and used it with grace and helped put this world back together much more effectively than she. Someone else might have saved the Divine, all the people who had been there, and her family.

Her hand fell away to her side as the thought of her family washed over her.

" _Pain tight in my chest like a fist, crushing, breaking. Their voices in my head, loud like screams, bouncing around inside, calling, pleading, being for help. Why me? Why not someone else? Someone better?_ " Emery turned sharply to see the young man, Cole walking toward her in a jagged and broken way. He stopped in front of her, his floppy hat hiding his pale face and eyes from her view.

"It's not your fault," He began, Emery closed her eyes and winced away from the boy's words. "You can't help that you lived and they died. You want there to be a reason, for you to be unworthy so there's a reason everything seems so scary. But it is scary. You can't know why it was you. It just was." He words soft, he was trying to help in some misguided, broken away.

"I thank you Cole, but it should have just been someone else." She took in a shaky breath and turned back to the frozen lake. "Maker preserve me, I couldn't even save my own brothers. What good am I to Thedas, when I can't even protect those closest to me?" The boy was silent. More footfalls approached; heavy, crunching the snow and breaking chunks of ice.

"Herald, are you alright? Is it- is he bothering you?" Emery turned to look back over her shoulder at the voice she quickly recognized. Cullen stood over the crest of the hill, hands resting on the hilt of his sword, eyes hard in suspicion as he glared at Cole. She offered him a weak but comforting smile as she turned to face him.

"I'm fine," She said sweetly, her voice breaking from hidden emotions as she spoke. She cleared her throat and continued. "He isn't bothering me at, he's only trying to help. I appreciate the concern Commander it is quite kind." He looked back to her and his eyes soften, taking a few steps down over the hill so he stood level with the pair, he walked closer. He shot Cole dark looked and the boy scurried away from him.

"You're sure?" He asked in a low tone, close enough to her now that Cole wouldn't have heard it. She smiled at him again and nodded.

"Very sure. Thank you, Commander."

"Of course, My Lady." He said stepping back from her so some space regains itself between the pair. She smiled at the man's kind concern but could not swoon over the attention he gave her with such crushing thought pooling in her head.

" _Guilt pressing on my stomach like a bottomless hole. Getting bigger and bigger. Making me sick, I push the food away, not hungry. Laying awake in my bed at night, sleeping pulling at my tired eyes but I can't close them. Can't sleep. Demons waiting to torture my mind with **their** faces. Always **their** faces._" Both Emery and Cullen turned to looked at Cole as he paced back and forth, spewing the young Heralds thoughts, sharing them for the Commander to hear.

"Cole!" Emery scolded, her heart rate speeding up, hot anger burned at the tips of her fingers playing with the mark. It flared with the energy.

"You couldn't have stopped them," He said, Emery, shook her head and started up the hill past the young boy until she stood level with the Commander at the top.

"Gabriel would have gone no matter what you said to him. His anger, hot and dark like a wild thing. You couldn't have stopped him. And Kilian was honor bound, brave and strong like father, he couldn't have deserted. You couldn't have stopped them. It's not your fault."

"I…"She didn't know what to say, hot tears threatened to spill down her cheeks. Her marked hand still bare to the cold of the world around her, the mark jumped and spasmed with the Heralds emotion.

She took a deep breath, claiming herself in any way she could. She took a moment, looking down at her hand and slowly pulling the glove back on. She took one final breath, her eyes clear and rage in check. She turned back to properly face Cole.

"Thank you Cole, but you're wrong. I should have tried harder. Either of them would have been more suited for all this, more so than me in any regards. So yes, I should have tried harder, much harder." She turned and looked to the Commander, his face struck with confusion and concern.

"Good day, Commander," She turned to Cole once again, "Cole. I wish you both a pleasant day." Without another word on the subject, the Herald straightened her posture and walked back toward Haven. Her personality changed, her emotions hidden because Maker be damned if she let anyone know how she truly felt.


	3. A Terrible Student

The smell of ale and cheap wine clung to the thick tavern air almost as heavily as the smoke wafting from the roaring fire. Emery Trevelyan found herself uncomfortably seated in one of the wooden chairs of a table too big for the small building, a set of cards gripped in her hands a little too hard as she struggled to figure the meaning of the colorful slips of paper.

"I can do what Sera just did with these cards right?" She whispered to Varric as he sat beside her, a large smile creased the dwarfs warm face. He chuckled and shook his head, drawn away from the struggles of the game at hand.

"You're thinking about this too much, Lady. You've just got to go with your gut instinct. Wicked Grace isn't about rules it's about tactics, bluffing, calling, reading people. You'd think you'd be good at it, given how much time you spent in the courts." The Herald's eyes dropped to the table littered with discarded cards and half filled mugs of ale.

"I didn't really spend all that much time in the courts, to be honest. I've never really been good at reading people or their motives." She chuckled then brought her eyes back to Varric, his cheery smile still perfectly in place. "And why do you keep calling me that?"

"Calling you what?" He asked with false innocence, a smirk cutting at the edge of his lips as he looked around the table to Bull and Sera.

"Lady. You act as though you don't know my name." She said catching the mischief's sparkle that cast through the dwarf's eyes.

"Well, you are aren't you? Unless I've missed something?" Sera broke into a sharp fit of cackling laughter at the joke. Doubled over holding her stomach, half falling out of her chair. Everyone at the table turned to look at her, as did most of the tavern. Quickly everyone put aside the small elf's laughing fit and returned to their drinks and conversations a like.

The Herald straightened her posture and crossed her arms over her chest.

"I am, but I don't see you calling Sera or any of the other woman lady."

"It's because I ain't noble rif raf like you." Sera belted across the table, her cards lost on the floor from when she had succumbed to her giggling fit.

"So is Cassandra, but I've only ever seen you call her Seeker. Not a name, hardly a title. So why call me Lady?" Varric shook his head and put his cards face up on the table, the angel of death card among them.

"Ah piss," Sera said as she slouched back in her pouting.

"Look, it's a nickname. I know you're not much for nobility stuff, so it's kind of ironic really. The great Herald of Andraste sounds kinda scary to some people. An ironic nickname is a sure fire way to let people see that there's more to you than a scary title."

"Oh," She said, eyes wide with surprise and admiration. "Thank you then." Varric nodded and looked back down to the many hands of now face up cards.

"Well, nobility or not, I still have no idea how to play this game."

"Don't worry, we'll get there." He said patting a supportive hand on her shoulder as he used the other to collect the cards.

"Well, either way, I'm still winning." The Iron Bull said with a large downing smile as he leaned back in his chair. The thin wood screaming with the massive qunari's movement.

"Not for long eye face!" Sera screamed across the table, throwing herself halfway across and into the almost collected pile of cards.

"Eye face?" Bulled questioned looking more confused and humored than upset.

"Well, I don't know," Sera started rolling onto her back so her view of everything became distorted and upside down. "I mean, you've only got one right?" Bulled raised an eyebrow at her, neither he nor anyone else at the table followed her wacky logic.

The game continued on for serval rounds more, Emery remained the loser of the evening and she soon became to be the butt of many of Sera's drunken jokes and petty call outs.

"That's another one for you Tiny, good round." Varric nodded in regards to the Iron Bull.

"Well, it's not proving all that difficult when one fourth of our players is drunk off her ass and another has no idea how to even play."

"I'm getting there! " The Herald scolded as she put her cards down with a sour look.

"Don't worry Lady, your better than Blondie was at any rate. A few more games and you'll be a champion player." Emery looked at the sea of cards spread out on the table. The Iron Bull had slowly begun to sweep the card into his hand to shuffle them.

"I'm starting to think the only way to win this game is to cheat." She announced while Varric and Bull traded sideway glances as the Herald closely examined the cards from across the table.

"What makes you think that?" Varric asked slyly. She caught his gaze and thought she should share her findings.

"Well, both you and Bull have proven superior players of the game with your many wins, and upon your winning rounds, I saw either one of you sneaking cards from under the table or hidden places. Sera tried but dropped her card on the floor and couldn't find it again, that was the round she was ahead, until the end of course, when she couldn't cheat anymore." Bull smiled at Varric.

"I thought you said she was a rookie?" Bull questioned with a heavy chuckle and wide smile.

"She is," Varric laughed as the fair haired noble woman beside him watched him intently. "You've got good eyes, Herald. I'm surprised you caught on so quickly." Emery smiled to herself with this small but meaningless victory.

"Yes, well as I stand to be horrible at reading people I can quite easily catch the slight of hands that happen in the shadows. Perks of my rouge training I suppose." Sera burst into another fit of laughter where she sat slouched back in her chair.

"That rhymed!" She shouted across the tavern. "Rouge, suppose." She repeated to herself as she fell to lay on the ground below the table. Emery exchanged a worried look with Varric but he only shrugged and smiled. The young Trevelyan bent over the side of her chair to peer at Sera on the ground.

"Sera? Are you alright?" The small elf lay on her stomach just beside the Herald's legs, looking up at the human seated before her.

"I'm fine," She slurred "Great view." Emery threw herself upright and nearly hit her head on the table at Sera's comment. The elf laughed as the Herald found herself at a loss of response.

"Just ignore her Lady, I'm sure she'll pass out soon," Varric said and Emery gave an uneasy smile and relaxed back into her chair. She took up the large tankard of ale she had barely touched and sipped at it while Bull sorted cards. The three remaining players went on for a round more when the occupant under the table shouted out to them.

"It's Commander stick up his arse!" Emery's eyes shot down below the table where the elf pointed lazily at the window.

"You're right. But what's Curly doing out there?" The Herald only managed to catch the tail end glimpse of Commander Cullen as he scurried away from the nearby window of the small tavern.

"Watching the game," Bull clarified "Has been for awhile now." The large qunari took a drink from his tankard a devilish smirk hidden behind the lip of the mug.

"Why would he be watching our game?" Emery inquired.

"It might have something to do with the fact that you're here, Lady," Varric said with a smile. The Herald shot up from, her seat.

"Do you think somethings wrong with the hold? Or perhaps there's important news!" She turned for the door but Varric caught her arm.

"Nothing so dire oh dutiful Herald." Emery slowly sat back down in her chair with Varric's guiding hand. "I think the Commander was just examining an interest," he said and Sera laughed from under the table.

"That's one name for it!" She cackled.

"What interest?" The Herald asked disregarding Sera's comment.

"Vashedan!" Bull cried with frustration. "Can the man be any more obvious?"

"Now, now Tiny, she learning. Don't patronize her quite yet." Varric soothed. Emery looked back to the window where the Commander had been but a moment ago. She had only caught his eyes for a second but she swore she had seen worry in them. Emery stood from the table again,

"He looked worried, I'm going to make sure everything is all right. Then I'll be back." She started for the door then paused before she reached it.

"Unless something is truly wrong, then I might not come back."

"Or things if things go truly right, you might not come back then either." Sera snickered. Emery shot the small elf a look of confusion then looked back to Varric.

"Don't mind her Lady," He chuckled "Go check on things, well keep your seat warm." Varric waved her off as he returned to the game Bull had begun to set out for them.

Emery stepped out into the cold outside the tavern. Frozen wind biting into her bare face and cutting through her thin clothes. She lacked her usual leather armor and felt much too exposed in the cold. Snow crunched under her boots as she started down the frozen path in search of the commander who had all but disappeared. Movement from a previously still shadow above the hill caught her attention. She raced after the sound of creaking ice and brittle snow to what she hoped was the commander. Embarrassment tickled her cheeks and ears red but she prayed he would think it was from the cold. Sera's comment had not gone unnoticed, the realization of its meaning donning over her.

"Commander!" She called from down the path, the shadow of movement before her suddenly stilled; the silver tint of armor catching on far away firelight. She raced up the hill to met the man, the tall looming shadows of the building and tents nearby cast over him. The Commanders light complexion barely visible in the dark.

"I saw you outside the tavern, is everything all right?" She questioned, breathing heavier from her small jog to catch up to him. The commander kept his eye turned away from her. "What?" He asked sounding uncomfortably surprised, "Oh um no. No everything fine, your worship" he reassured as he took up the familiar gesture of putting his hand to the back of his neck. "I was just stopping by the tavern to uh…to check on my men."

"To see how many of them would be at drills tomorrow with a hangover?" Cullen chuckled and let his hand dropped away from his neck, his soft but tired eyes raising to meet the Heralds.

"Yes exactly." Emery shared his smile, it smoothed over her scarred cheek making her appear innocent and pure in the dull light of the night.

"As I thought." She said, voice light and air as she lost topic of things to say.

"Forgive me my Lady, but if you assumed all was well why did you trail out here after me?" The young noble thanked the Maker for the cover of darkness as a small flash of heat colored her cheeks.

"As Varric and the others in the tavern will no doubt tell you I'm frightfully bad at reading people. For a moment I thought I saw fright in your gaze outside the tavern." Emery let her light eyes fall to the ground away from the Commanders.

"Well, you're in luck I happen to be rather shamefully easy to read." He told her, hand resting on the hilt of his sword. She reluctantly raised her eyes once again, the commanders comment helping to ease her embarrassment of rash decisions.

"I find reading people comes with getting to know them, and I know you far less than I'd like to."

"Oh, well, I suppose we should fix that then. I'd hate to ruin another of your games with false worry." He said, his sentence broken up with an awkward tension as he first spoke but his words quickly lost their rough edges as he went on. Emery smile for once again the commander had taken to holding his neck.

"That would be most helpful, thank you, Commander." He nodded

"Of course." The conversation dropped off and a moment of silent drifted between the two. Neither wanting to leave just yet but neither knowing how to continue it on either.

"I saw you playing cards in the tavern, wicked grace was it?" The Herald sighed and ran on gloved hand through her loose blond hair smoothing back the unruly strands.

"Unfortunately so," She laughed "I've never played before and I'm proving to be a rather poor player. Would you care to join us for a round?"

"I would, but as it stands I happen to be one of the worst players in the whole of Thedas." Emery laughter and saw the half smile that grazed the Commanders scarred lip.

"Worry not Commander for I might just take that title for myself."

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AN/ I hope you all enjoyed the new chapter. Sorry for the delay, I just wasn't sure I loved the nickname I chose for Varric to give her. Comment or PM if you've got any ideas regarding it or any ideas on the chapter or story at all. I'd love to hear them. Also looking for anyone who wants to listen to some ideas for future chapters and to bounce some ideas off of. PM me if you'd like to help and get some sneak peeks of later chapters.

Thanks so much


	4. Things to Forget

Lady Trevelyan slid off her horse with stiff, aching limbs. The soil ground beneath her feet helped steady her burning headache from the hours of swaying and bouncing in the saddle. Her gentle Fereldan Forder neighed it triumphant relief at reaching its home and place of resting until called upon again. Chestnut affectionately nuzzled the Heralds hand as she stroked the swift beast soft nose. Her companions had since relived their mounts to the stable hands of the Inquisition but Emery had kindly rejected the help. She preferred to take care of her horse herself as she did after every mission no matter the hour. Her habit had not formed out of dislike or lack of trust in the Inquisitions people but from that of well-taught lessons and wise elders. Emery guided her horse into it dedicated stall and worked at the many straps and buckets that littered the animals hide. Chestnut, defiantly snacked on straw in the feeding trough as his owner wrestled with the reins.

"You're not making this any easier for me." She grumbled to the horse who only munched on its well-deserved snack in reply.

All garments removed the Herald had only to brush down her mount, the stable hands around her having since dispersed their work long done. Emery middle little that it had taken her so much longer to see to her mount, the burning ache of exhaustion stretched through her limbs was almost crippling. With tired eyes, Emery found the lulled warmth of the stables to be intoxicating and voted to remove her long leather jacket in the hope that the sublet cold might help jolt her awake. No adoring her long tunic wrapped tightly around her waist the Heard felt the gentle winter breeze as it swept by in the cold night. She turned and looked out over thick tree line, the sun long gone. It was probably getting onto late evening and most would be off to bed at this hour, but the tavern would no doubt still be alive with people.

"My Lady Herald." A voice called, Emery looked over to the main gate of heaven with burning eyes, Commander Cullen strode toward her. Despite the evening falling into later hours the Commander still looked perfectly put together, all be it a few curls from around his head had since sprung free.

"Commander," She greeted as she slowly disappeared back into the depth of Chestnut's stall, brushes in hand. Cullen appeared around the corner, his heavy armor gangling and scrapping together in the otherwise silent area.

"I see you have all returned back from the hinterlands safely," He paused while brushing a gloved hand over the brown fur of the horse's neck. "Your companions have already turned in from the eve, I wouldn't have expected to find you out here had Cassandra not informed me that you had stayed behind to look after your mount."

"I always take care of my own mounts," She said as she began brushing down the sweat matted fur. "It was how I was raised. The stable hands at our home never cleaned or tended to our horses after my siblings and I had used them personally, our father was adamant about such things."

"Both an honorable and useful set of skills to have. Your father thought well to instill such tarts in his children." She rose from brushing the horse's stomach and slowly walked around to the front of the animal to reach its other side, a path that currently proved blocked by the commander.

"If you would pardon me, Commander." She said kindly and as if suddenly surprised by her request Cullen jumped out of her way. Bumbling an apology as he stepped from her path, eye trained on the ground. Silents began to stretch on as only the raspy starches of the brush and cool sounds of the wind filled the air. Now turned away in her work Lady Trevelyan was unable to see the Commander or his standing. She suspected him near but it wasn't until she had a strange feeling that he was watching her that she realized how close he might have truly been. Tired after weeks of travel Emery was not at her best, she would greatly approve that the handsome Commander refrain from watching her until she was a little more put together. Not that she assumed the man had any real interest in her beyond that granted by professionalism.

She cleared her throat,

"Anything of interest happen while I was away?" Her voice buckled in a tight creak as she felt suddenly very self-conscious of her poorly put together appearance and regretted removing her coat, the protective leather would have proved some comfort.

"Nothing dire, although Sera has been no less than bothersome these past few weeks." The Herald nodded with a small smile.

"That does sound right, has she been pranking people again?" Cullen sighed

"Only the entirety of my men and half of heaven on top of that," Emery giggled to herself as she set the brush down. "She keeps telling me I'm next. I've been unable to turn my back for very long without fear of some kind of ridiculous attack." He said with an enthusiastically annoyed wave of his armed before her crossed them back over his chest. Emery turned back to face him, she now stood between Chestnut and the stall wall.

"I understand," She said with another laugh as she saw the true any acne reflected in the line on the commander's forehead. "She keeps telling me that if I don't lighten up she's going to steal all my breeche's and hide them around heaven, and make me going running through the hold in nothing but my knickers until I find them." The lines on his forehead relaxed and Culled shared a laugh, letting his arms drop back to her side casually.

"I'd like to see that." He said between chuckles, Emery's eyebrows shot up into her hairline, a smile still stuck on her lips while she held back laughter. The second he realized what he had said the Commander's eyes grew so wide Emery was sure they'd pop from his head.

"Oh, no, I didn't mean that I'd like to see you running through the hold in your… I meant that, that I'd like t-to see her try, to- Oh Maker's breath," he said dropping one hand over his eyes while Emery broke into a fit of much-needed laughter over the man's stammered words.

"It's alright Commander, I understand what you meant. I think." She said a wide smile gracing her pale features. Cullen looked up from his hand, cheeks tinged pink and his eyes made little effort to met hers.

"I am so sorry my Lady, can we please pretend I didn't say any of that?" He asked beardy sporting his own half smile of embarrassment and amusement.

"I don't know Commander, can you stop referring to me as My Lady? It's far too formal, and Varric already calls me that out of spite." He chuckled again, "I think I could manage that."

"Then your words are forgotten." She said with a sweet smile.

"Thank you, Herald."

"Emery." She corrected, but the Commander only looked at her with a rather alluring half smile.

"We've known each other long enough and I'd rather like to think of you as a friend. It seems only right that you might call me by my given name."

"Well then, as a friend I'd highly encourage that you do the same."

"Gladly Cullen." She said with a sweet smile. For a moment Cullen stared at her mouth as if admiring the way his name sounded on her lips. A soften smile take up and smoothed out his features making him appear younger in the pale light.

She broke her eyes away from the Commanders rather attentive gaze and returned them to her horse, lest she get too caught up in his gentle golden eyes. She ran a gloved hand over the horses back and the beast let out a grunted breath approvingly.

"Well, I think my work here is done. I should head to my quarters and get some rest before tomorrow." Cullen nodded and straightened his posture before stepping out of the stall awaiting Emery's follow.

"I shall accompany you then, I head in the same direction." He told her, the Herald nodded and followed after him, the pair making their way through the heavy gates of the fortress and into the small village.

"I wanted to thank you again for your decision in reaching out to the Templars in our hopes to seal the breach. Despite the corruption among them, there are still good men in the order."

"You are most welcome Commander, but as you are no doubt aware I have a personal stake among the Templars as well."

"No," He said gently "I did not know you had any ties with the order."

"Leliana didn't write about it in her dossier of me?" Cullen looked at the Herald with subtle surprise.

"You know about the report?" She chuckled.

"Well, you were all rather suspicious of me when I first woke up. And Leliana is a smart woman, she would have had all the information you need on me by the end of the first day. So it only makes sense that there was an official report on my life and associations."

"I imagine there was, although I admit to never reading it."

"Too much paperwork for the battle trained Commander?" She joked, Cullen chuckled and shared a half smile with Lady Trevelyan as she looked up at him as she walked, eyes now alive with mischief instead of drained and exhausted.

"No, in fact, I happen to spend more time than I'd like reading and writing reports. I sometimes fear I'll forget how to properly hold a sword since I spend so much time with a pen." Emery laughed and the Commander ran a hand through his hair, further loosening some of the unruly curls.

"Then what stopped you from reading the report on me?" She asked her voice equal measures of curiosity and delight.

"If you wish to share tales and stories of your personal life I'd welcome them, but I will not invade your privacy by reading about it in a report."

"That's quite kind of you Commander, but for a time you thought I might have been the cause of the Divines death, what stopped you from reading the report then?" He ran a hand over his neck like he so often did.

"In truth," He started looking anywhere but her eyes. "I believed you guilty without looking at all the evidence, while you slept we remained without a name and during that time I let my anger get the best of me. And you were the easiest target to put all that anger towards." He paused voice heavy with shame. "Shortly after you woke Leliana had assembled her dossier but I refused to read it, still convinced of your guilt. It took some time, more than I'd like to admit; but after you tried to seal the breach the first time, after you almost died trying to right a wrong you did not commit did I see that there was no way you were responsible for the disaster that befell the Divine and her followers. After my rather late realization, the time to read the report had come and gone. It was agreed the report would be disposed of and kept from your knowledge. I learned everything I needed to know about you from Leliana and Josephine."

"Um, wow," Was all the Herald's could muster in response, Cullen's words a heavy weight as they settled over her.

"But please realizes that I understand my anger was most wrongly place. I blame you for nothing. And I am in fact quite grateful you came to be with the Inquisition." She looked up at him, gentle eyes lost of their sparks but not hurt or angry. Understanding shown in their silvery blue depths.

"Of course Commander, I would have felt the same way were the situations reversed. Your anger was and remains just, we need only find the proper target to direct it." He smiled down at her, just as Emery released they had both stopped walking. She must have paused upon the commanders rather hefty relive.

"If I'm being truthful myself, I sometimes wonder if there wasn't some way I could have stopped what happened that day? Or if someone better had taken my place would it have happened at all?" Her eye forces on the ground, the snow dusted path quiet just like the camps and huts around them.

"You've done more than many could ever hope to achieve, that's no small feat my Lady Herald." She looked up at him, one eyebrow cocked. Cullen smiled and understood what she was drawing attention to.

"My apologies, Emery. Be proud of what you've done no one else could have done it as you have."

"They could have done it better," She whispered, mostly to herself but in the dead silence of the night, Cullen heard it easily. Cullen opened his mouth to speak but Emery managed to beat him to it.

"By the Maker!" She cursed "It's freezing out here." She quickly wrapped her arms around herself and looked around blindly for her coat.

"Shit." She muttered as she looked back toward the way they had come. "I left my coat in the stables." She let her head and shoulder slump forward as she let out an exhausted sigh of disappointment and frustration.

"I'd best go back and retrieve it." She said running a hand through her messy untamed hair.

"Nonsense," He said and as Emery turned back to question him the Commander draped his surcoat over her shoulders. she was surprised but found the soft fur around the neck warm and comforting, the garment much too big for her but it proved some much-appreciated warmth.

"Take my surcoat, it's only a short trip to your quarters. I'll fetch your jacket and allow you to retune and get some much-needed rest."

"But can you go without out it? I mean who is Commander Cullen without his fancy surcoat?" Emery teased, a smile creased her lips as she kept the cloak pulled snug around her.

"A humbler man, perhaps." He chuckled

"Still I can gather my coat so you don't have to go tracking back and forth across Haven all night." She insisted but her tired and aching legs screamed otherwise.

"Consider it a fair trade, I will retune your coat tomorrow before we move out as to let you get as much rest as possible and I'll retrieve my coat from you at the same time." Emery looked up at him, his soft eyes willing her to say yes when she knew the proper thing to do was gather the coat herself. But the gentle gaze he cast down on her made all word of protest seem to melt away.

"If I didn't know you better Commander, I'd say you're holding my coat hostage so that you might speak with me before our journey tomorrow. Fussing like a mother hen." He laughed.

"I do not fuss, but for you perhaps I hover." Emery snickered a sharp laughed that was ugly and tight. But as she threw a hand over her mouth to excuse the hideous sound Cullen only laughed and smile at her. His gaze tentative as it ranked over her form hidden beneath his cloak, the smooth fabric coughing on her hips and pulled tight around her torso. He watched her for a moment longer and a silent grew heavy between them.

"You'd best turn in for the night, tomorrow will come much too soon for your liking." He warned, his voice low and close to a whisper as she regretfully stepped away from her and made head back down toward the stables.

"I shall, thank you, Cullen." She said softly and the mans face lit up with a smile as he walked away from her back to retrieve her coat, one she was now rather grateful she had forgotten.

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AN/ As always please leave reviews and comments. The ones I've gotten so far are super nice, I'm so glad that people have been liking this story and I really appreciate hearing what you guy think.

Thank again! Keep being awsome!


	5. Bitter Sweet

She clenched her fist tightly beside her, desperately waiting for the sharp biting pain that filled her palm to cease. But as time dragged on the pain did not subside. Teeth clenched hard in resistance the ache only spread, working its way from where it festered in her hands it took root deep in her head. A pounding headache took route and pulsed behind her eyes persistently.

Emery's eyes caught sight of the green haze that was left in the sky, distant remains of the horrid breach. She racked her mind to figure out why her pain had not subsided just as the breach had. Too much, she told herself. Too much power all at once with too little energy of her own to fuel it. The Templars had done their part brilliantly, the sharp ringing of their swords as they were unsheathed and plunged into the ground still rang in her ears as a powerful memory. But the Herald had neglected to properly prepare herself for such a daring event, not enough sleep from consent travel and too little food from a nervous stomach.

She looked down at her hand and flexed her bare fingers. They were numb and clumsy with pain. She could not afford to be clumsy, not with so much that still needed to be done. With so many people who still needed help.

Wrestling with her pain the Herald fought between seeking the refuge of a quiet room to soothe her headache and Solas's expertise on her marks condition and staying to enjoy the much welcomed and joyous celebrations.

Emery, in turn, found herself drawn to leave, the knowledge that her palm ached with unknown magic did nothing to comfort her. As those around her drank, laughed and danced the young Trevelyan worked her away to the thicket of trees clustered nearby. Intending to slip away from the gathering virtually unseen. But she lacked a clear mind and her escape was poorly executed. She tripped past her list of things she needed to do, sluggishly seeking out somewhere quiet. Sneaking off didn't exactly work when someone was watching you do it. Perhaps her clumsiness was because she thought that everyone would be too caught up in the festivities to noticed the Herald of Andraste for just one night. And much to her dismay, Emery remain wrong again.

"You're not leaving yet are you?" Questioned the happy and booming voice of the all too cheery dwarf. She turned back to where Varric now stood behind her, she gave the man a weak but honest smile.

"The work of the Inquisition is never done." She told him.

"Well, it can wait for one night at least," He sighed "Oh, by the way, Curly and the Seeker have been looking for you."

"What for?" She asked lightly, trying to push the pain of her hand away.

"I don't know, some all-important herald business would be my guess. Now come on," He said with a wave of his hand. "I think I saw Cullen over by the tavern talking with some of the recruits." Varric started down the path away from the chantry hill where they had stood.

"I thought you said Cassandra was looking for me as well?"

"Oh she is, but I'd rather steer clear of her. I think she's still mad about the whole welcoming myself into the inquisition thing. Besides she's been in the chantry for most of the night, fighting with the sisters about how your not acutely demon spawn. She'll probably be busy for awhile anyhow." With a weak smile, the herald pushed past her pain and trailed after her friend as he led her on.

As they walked through the camp people would stop Emery and shower her in thanks and their gratitude for her sealing the breach. She would look to her feet and accept their praises with modesty, reassuring the people that it was not only she who had closed the breach.

A group of men raised their tankard to her as she passed, the herald smiled sheepishly and looked at her feet at their thanks.

"Oh come on Lady, enjoy this. You did a great thing after all." Varric reassured her.

"I just carry the mark, I'm not the reason that the breach is closed."

"Uh, you kinda are though."

"I-"

"No, listen," Varric cut her off. "I know you don't think you did much but wiggle your figures, but you're the one who made the call to go to the Templars for help. You fought a friggin envy demon inside your own head while the rest of us were still climbing the steps. You brought together people of the inquisition and convicted them to stand behind you and this unknown magic in hope to fix this shit storm that's been raging over this half of the frost backs. You've done big things Lady, don't sell yourself short. And take a bloody compliment when its given to you." He said but it still remained that Emery did not feel she was worthy of so much credit.

"Still I was not alone."

"So I was there to shoot a couple demons in the head, and Casandra was there to swing that big ass hammer of hers. No matter who else was there, you did a lot of heavy lifting, be proud, just for tonight okay?" She laughed as she was unable to deny her friend.

"Alright, I'll try." She said with a soft smile.

"Don't try, do. But enough of that. There's Curly now." Varric said as the pair approached Cullen where he stood with a set of his recruits. From the sounds of it, they were discussing logistics.

"Makers ass man, do any of you ever stop working?" Varric asked as they got close enough for him to notice them. Cullen looked over at them surprised, he turned back to his men and sent them on their way.

"Varric, My lady Herald." He said to the pair in greeting. "I trust you both are enjoying the festivities."

"I am but I'm struggling to get our Herald here to put aside her duties for one night, its a lot harder than it sounds." Cullen chuckled briefly before looking at Emery who looked down at Varric with a glare as her cheeks lit up red.

"There's still so much that needs to be done, I'll celebrate once we've found those responsible for the Divines murder and get rid of them." She said stubbornly, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I agree, as much as we have to celebrate, there is still much to do," Cullen said stoically, hands resting on the pommel of his sword.

"Leave it to you to kill my point, Curly," Varric muttered under his breath.

"Must you insist on calling me that?" Cullen asked with a sighed as his eye darted between the Herald and the dwarf as his ears become painted with a soft pink color in a sublet blush.

"Oh yeah, I remember Kirkwall, don't think you can live that down anytime soon," Varric said a deep rumble of laughter.

"Makers breath," The commander sighed as Emery giggled quietly, earning a wide smile from the dwarf also in their company.

"I'm going to go find Sera, maybe she'll be more inclined to drink with me." Varric said and he walked past the two toward the door of the tavern.

"You never said anything about drinking?" Emery called after him, he turned and shot her a quick smile.

"I'm hurt that you had to ask." He gave a quick nodded to the pair before quickly disappear around the corner and inside the tavern.

"Well piss." The Herald muttered to herself all too loudly. Cullen cracked up in laughter drawing the young Trevelyan's attention with a smile.

"I'm sure there will be plenty to go around, but as it stands the tavern in so full I fear the place might burst. I suggest you wait before seeking anything from inside." He opened his mouth to say something else but closed it fast and brought a hand to the back of his neck. The tinge of pink from Varrric's jokes seemed to remain.

"Perhaps in the meantime, you'd like to join me in a short patrol?" He asked, refusing to meet her eyes but he didn't look far from her. His eyes darting between the wall behind her or the snow at her feet.

"Given the fact that this is a celebration should you really be so concerned as to take a patrol?" The Commander laughed as he caught the humor behind the Heralds words.

"I suppose, let's just call it a walk then."

"Then I would love to join you on your walk Commander." He beamed at her as she agreed, his soft amber gaze taking in the features of her face and as the soft curve of her lips pulled tight into a smile. He must have thought he was staring, for his eyes shot wide and he looked away fast, catching his hand before it could reach his neck again.

"Uh, after you, my Lady." He said polity, voice strained tight in embarrassment as he gestured down the path. Emery giggle and stepped out before him.

The two wondered down the path by the tavern until they passed out the front gates of Heaven, the soft snow crunched and creaking under their boots as they went. It broke the comfortable silence the pair had fallen into.

"So I hear word that your family has pledged full support to the Inquisition," He inquired. Emery chuckled as she watched the lake and its unmoving water with a serene feeling of calm.

"My fathers doing."

"It might not have been the wisest move, given the chantry's outright detest toward us and you personally." She shrugged.

"My father is a very stubborn man, even if we are supposed heretics if he feels we are just and doing the right thing he will follow us with or without the chantry's approval."

"I can't image many are happy with his decision then."

"Oh no, the letters are probably pilling up in the drawing room by now. And I imagine my mother is having a fit about them while my father does little more than calling them fire kindling." The commander chuckled as the pair walked over the stamped down pile of snow, tracing the many footsteps of the holds occupants.

"A true military man it sounds," he said, smile etched over his features as he watched the path ahead, the gentle conversation felt relaxed and calm. A comfortable shade of familiarity settled over them.

"Yes, he would have no doubt been pleased in my choice to recruit the Templars over the mages." She said in their passing of a young group of the very Templar recruits in question. The group laughed and spoke with one another cheerfully not noticing the Herald and Commander.

"Did that weight heavily upon your choice? Whether or not your father would approve?" He asked his voice equal measure of concern and curiosity. Emery's eyes left their tentative gaze of the ground.

"Of course it occurred to me, but that is not why I made the choice that I did." Her companion seemed pleased with her answer, nodding in agreement but not speaking out.

"My decision was my own, I felt the Templars were the best choice for the situation and they performed admirably. Not that the mages wouldn't have done the same. This situation just needed a different sort of hand. And I know the ways of the templars well." She said thoughtfully.

"If I might ask, My Lady," He started looking down at her briefly to see her eyes sparkle with hidden laughter as he restored calling her by her title. "From my understanding, you served the chantry as a sister, how is it you came to know the ways of the order so in-depth?"

"A templar by the name of Kalian gave me great insight into the order. Perhaps more than he was supposed to." She said with faint laugh at the distant memory.

"He must have been quite a good friend then. I can imagine you two must have been quite close for him to tell you such things about the order." Cullen said with casual meaning but the sharp undertone of worry gave away that the question was anything but. Emery smiled brightly and held back a laugh as she spoke.

"Very," She said stopping her walk to stand over the hill where one of the trebuchets was perch overlooking the lake and mountains beyond. Seeing the tension that built in the Commander's shoulders at her words, she suspected it was due to someone revealing secrets of the order to her and not anything to do with her personally. But she hoped there was something beneath that.

Seeing the man stand ridge once more, hands clamped tightly behind his back Emery thought she should relieve him of his worry.

"Knight Captain Kalian Trevelyan, of the Ostwick Circle and I were quite close. After all, I didn't have enough siblings to be picky." She said formally, the Commander turned to look at her instantly, his face a mixture of surprise and relief.

"Your brother?" He asked

"Yes, one of two." She said between small belts of laughter from the sheer look of surprise that came across the Commanders face, a look he quickly tried to correct.

"Forgive me, my lady, I didn't know you had family within the order."

"Then you've been poorly informed, it is not uncommon to find a Trevelyan serving the Maker as a templar or cleric in the chantry. Perhaps a little more uncommon for the firstborn heir of a house to submit to such tradition, but my family has never been one to follow tradition."

"Your brother renounced himself as the heir of a wealthy noble house to join the order?" Emery laughed.

"Yes, Kalian, never was one for the political life, he'd much rather be swinging a sword on the battlefield than writing letters to trading partners. I can't say I blame him." She said as she shifted her weight, feeling the reassuring pull of the straps of the daggers sheathed at her shoulders.

"So the right of heir must have fallen to you next brother I assume?"

"Yes," the Harold said, her smile fell away as the word escaped her lips. "But he had to forfeit the title as well. Neither of the Trevelyan sons could take up as heir to our house."

"Why did your other brother forfeit?" Cullen asked unable to see the weight of his question as it loomed of his companion.

"I'm not supposed to speak of it," She said tightly, before looking up to him and forcing a smile to her features. "Besides its, a rather long story and I'd prefer not to bore you to death." He smiled and chuckled at her joke, aware that she was avoiding the questions but he didn't want to press her on it.

"You needn't worry about boring me, My Lady. I quite enjoy the time I spend with you." She smiled at him, her cheeks turning a twinge of pink as heat bubbled to the pail spans of her face.

What surprised her most was not the Commanders rather sly and smooth line but the fact that he hadn't bumbled an apology and prayer to the Maker yet. Table tuned Emery found herself silent cursing the maker as she scrambled to say something in that awestruck moment. Perhaps all her flirting hadn't been in vain.

Sheepishly looking up from the view set out before her the Herald found the Commander tentatively studying her and not the view. She opened her mouth to return his comment with intrigue when Varric's voice cut clean through the quiet whistling wind.

"Maker be damned." She said in a whisper she thought beyond the Commander's ear, but his chuckled told her she had been wrong.

"Lady!" He called as he walked up the slope to meet the pair. "There you are, I've been looking all over for you." He said with his usual smile of misfit that implied he knew exactly what he had interrupted; and that he had probably timed it just right.

"Cassandra's fought off most of the clerics and sent me out here to look for you. She's waiting for you by the tents near the chantry." He said, Emery cast a sideways glance to Cullen before speaking, but again she was cut off by the dwarf.

"Don't worry about Curly here, I'll keep him company," Varric said as he pushed his way between the two and clapped the Commander heavily on the back. Cullen just shook his head and looked rather tired of the dwarf already. With a smile, Emery watched as Varric gave her a fleeting wink before steering the Commander away from their perch above the lake, his over velour voices chiming happily on the air as he rambled to the Commander.

The young nobles trudged back through the hold until the tall snow blanketed chantry stood proudly before her, as the heart of Heaven. Cassandra was nowhere to be seen and the bustle of celebration still whorled around Emery. With a gentle smile, the Herald wondered to the edge of the nearby encampment. The gentle tune of unpracticed music drifted through the wind as people were in full swing with the melody. Dancing and laughing in drunken bliss. The deep groan of the chantry doors howled clear through the night and soon proud footsteps approached the hero of the hour.

"Solas confirms the heavens are scared but calm. The breach is sealed." She looked to the seeker as the strong woman took up a place beside her.

"We've reports of linger rifts, and many questions remain, but this was a victory." She paused and looked down at the sparks that trickled and pooled around her bare hand. "Word of your heroism had spread." She told the Herald, just another of the seemingly bottomless praise she did not feel she deserved.

"You know many were involved, Cassandra. Luck put me at the center."

"A strange kind of luck. I'm not sure if we need more or less. But your right. This was a victory of alliances. One of few in recent memories. With the breach closed, that alliance will need new focus." That's when the bell sounded. Silence fell over haven and fear rippled up her spine. Emery froze, they were under attack.

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AN/ Hey guys sorry for the long wait, grade 12 is a real b*tch and not gonna lie I've had this chapter pretty much done for my awhile I just couldn't come up with a tittle... as always reviews are greatly appreciated Thanks!


	6. A Living Nightmare

Daggers now held firmly in hand Emery raced through Haven, narrowly dodging civilians and soldiers alike as everyone scrambled to hide or gather their arms. She heard little over the frantic hammering of her heart in her head. Scared faces flashed by as peopled rush past her and Emery wondered if this was how it had been at the Temple of Sacred Ashes. Before everything exploded had their been panic? Had people known? Was she about to lose everything again?

"Cullen?" Cassandra asked her accent thick with worry as the sound of hundreds of thousands of armored boots clashed outside the holds walls.

"One WatchGuard reporting. It's a massive force, the bulk over the mountain." The Herald circled to stand next to Cullen and Cassandra, her heart beating faster and faster as the army drew closer. The sound of rattling arms and angered chanting defining. Maker please not now, not after everything we've done. Maker I'm begging you spare the people of haven. She prayed in her head, anxiety so tight in her chest it felt like a rift had opened up inside her pushing and ripping at her lungs as it grew.

"Under what banner?" Josephine asked, her tone calm and regal but her hands pulled and twisted the hem of her golden selves with fear.

"None."

"None?" The look of fear the split across her face was something not even the well trained antivan ambassador could hide.

Emery looked to the Commander her fear bare on her face, never had she faced an attack such as this. Fought with demons and mercenaries but never had she seen an assault with a nameless force of monstrous size. He returned her gaze but didn't show the hopeful look she was so desperately seeking to find in someone. Someone with an ounce of hope, a spark to light a flame.

Moments ago everything had been fine, everything had been peaceful and happy. How could everything change in an instant? Shattered like a window.

Emery opened her mouth to speak but was cut off as the doors behind her buckled and jumped as something crashed into them from the other side.

"If someone could open this, I'd appreciate it!" A voice that was distantly familiar called from beyond the now scorched gate.

"Is that the Tevinter from Redcliffe?" Cassandra asked confused.

"Dorian?" Emery questioned as she stared at the door, the dull hiss of fire magic danced outside the hold.

Emery looked to Cullen, his face heavy with suspicion as he drew his blade and came to stand at the young nobles side. The Commander shot the soldier guarding the door an order to open it. The man quickly compiled and the fully armed Herald accompanied by the Commander pushed past the door to find the mage in question doubled over in exhaustion on the ground. They raced up to the fallen man who gave a weak smile as they approached.

"Ah, there you are! I'm here to warn you. Fashionably late, I'm afraid." He said as he attempted to right himself only to fall again. Cullen lunged to grab his arm and help the mage to his feet again. Dorian grumbled an apology as he came to stand on his own.

"I came to tell you what happened with the mages at Redcliffe. You're not going to like it." He said in earnest. Heart beating faster and faster with his each word Emery had to bite her tongue to hold back a waterfall of questions.

"They are under the commander of the Venatori, in service to something called 'The Elder One'." The thing the Templars at Therinfal had gone on about. Whatever this thing was its reach had spread beyond the Templars it had so desperately sought to control and nestled deep within the roots of the mages.

"Gabriel, the man I asked after when we met in Redcliffe if he among them? Is he with the Venatorti?" Dorian looked at her with sorrow as he leaned onto his staff.

"I'm sorry my dear but I don't know. I looked for your friend but no one there had heard of him. Perhaps he was lucky enough to have avoided this disaster. But we have more pressing issues at hand." He said as he turned to look at the marching force that towered over the mouton side. "The woman is Calpernia. She commander the Venatori, for that … The Elder One." He pointed to a single figure that loomed above the rested, Calpernia. A large billow of smoke beside her formed some twisted and scorned image of a man or monster beside her.

Emery turned to watched as the mages marched ever closer to where the three stood in awe. For a time her lungs couldn't find air as the monsters hoard of mages all clambered together, belts of anger soaring through the air shape like racing daggers. Was he with them? Had she sealed him to this horrible fate?

It took Dorian speaking again to draw her away from the nightmarish scene before her.

"They were already marching on Haven. I risked my life to get here first!" Emery turned to the Commander, her hands shaking so violently she had to through them into first to hide it.

"Cullen, give me a plan! Anything!" Her voice came out in a shrike that did not resemble the leader she so often pretending to be. He explained their chances but the only thing that matter was that there was a chance at all.

"We must control the battle. Get out there and hit that force. Use everything you can!" He looked at her and gave a strong reassuring nodded, he was trying to instill some strength in the fleeting courage she had. He unsheathed his sword and turned to his met rallying them with honor and pride.

"Inquisition! With the Herald! For your lives! For all of us!" The relying cry of the men around her brought burning hope within her. The faith they all had within her, the faith that the Commander alone seemed to have, it was the spark she needed. She smiled weakly at them as the pressing pain and fear in her chest was fought off by pride, these peopled believed in her. They needed her and she would be damned if she didn't fight until her last breath to protect them. No matter who she was fighting.

* * *

Air scrapped against her throat burning like claws were tearing the flesh with every breath. Ragged panting as she fought. Daggers slicing through flesh and cutting past chainmail with ease. Battle cries crackled across the landscape, shattering disarray of metal ringing as swords and dagger alike clashed together. A cold whirlwind of deadly magic skimmed by the Herald. This was truly a war, exploding out from every seam and corner of the land surrounding Haven. Hordes of Venatori kept pouring in around the trebuchet that had been scarily wound up.

A bolt of light hit her square in the back and the young Trevelyan felt all her muscles seizing beneath her skin. She stumbled to her knees but fought to stand again despite the hot fiery pain in her limbs. Hand still clamped tightly around her daggers she sliced the knees and legs of an oncoming attacker before he could land a fatal blow. His sword missing her shoulder and cutting a clean, non-debilitating gash into her arm. Rolling out of the way the Herald regained her limbs and sprung to her feet finishing off the crippled attacker. Hot sticky blood painted her light leather armor crimson as she cut the man down. Haphazardly whipping the blood from her face Emery race to Varric's aid as the dwarf was trying to take out two approaching warriors.

"Die bastards!" She shouted as she assaulted the swordsmen with all the adrenaline pulsing through her veins. She shoved all the rage and anger she had for herself into her attacks and the Venatori were cut down like paper. Blood melting the heavy snow all around them the group had finally found a break in the attacking masses.

"Quickly, we must arm the trebuchet!" Cassandra said as she raced to the Herald's side Solas just behind her. "Varric," she ordered. "Guard the Herald, Solas and I will watch the surroundings." Gripping his crossbow a little tighter Varric agree and stepped up beside Emery as she clambered onto the platform of the large weapon.

"You need just crank it back, Lady Herald." One of the scattered Inquisition soldiers told her as she stepped up to the large turn wheel.

Slotting her weapons Emery the put all her effort into the turning of the wheel, the thick chains heavy with its massive load, making the system stiff and slow. The muscles in her arms burned from the effort, adrenal burning ou. The overworked the tissue of her arms screamed in exhaustion.

The heavy trebuchet groaned as its weight was finally pulled to its end ready to fire.

"Stand clear!" One of the soldiers shouted waiting no less than five seconds before they let the heavy weapon fire. With a loud crack, the ball of stone launched into the sky. Sailing over the treetops and the massive approaching army. An ear-splitting explosion rocked the mountain knocking a mass of snow to come roaring down the dark slope swallowing up the venatori. Cheering erupted across haven, as Emery stared out as the screams of the distance mage slaves died out. Varric slapped her hardily on the back with a wide smile stretching from ear to ear. The young Herald let her face fall into relief, the attack now subsided, all but a few straggling attackers remained. As the cheers began to rage on Emery felt something drop in her stomach, what if he had been among them?

But her thoughts were interrupted as she saw a large black shadow just over the mountain, and before her mind could put anything together everything happened at once. A loud shrill, shrike came first then the trebuchet exploded in a spray of fire. Thrown from the wooden landing Emery slowly manage to pick herself up off the ground, watching the large monstrous dragon as it flew just out of range. That momentary relief she had felt broken away in shards just like the wooden structure around her that lay in ruin.

"We can't face it here! We have to… do something!" Cassandra shouted her voice broken with shock and fear as the party started out at the beast.

"Quickly, everyone to the gates!" Emery called as she found her dagger in there sheathes preparing for battle. They raced over the body litter land, the only sound to be heard among her companions was that of ragged breathing and heavy rapid footsteps. Passing the smithy Emery distantly saw Harritt struggling with the door to his workshop.

"Go on ahead." She shouted to her companions before veering off to help the struggling man. Emery found him desperately kicking at a box, the Herald slumped down and tried to push it out of the way but it was no good.

"Stand back!" an armored hand clasped down on her shoulder and Cassandra pulled the noblewoman aside. Within seconds Cassandra kicked the door free and it swung inside the burning hut. Emery looked over at the warrior and nodded her thanks, looking out past the small wall surrounding the forge she found both Varric and Solas eagerly awaiting Cassandra and herself. Despite her telling them, they had stayed. Were her mind not so full of panic she might have smiled at this. Quickly the smith raced out after gathering his things and they all retreated for the gates. Cullen stood on the large stone steps ushering everyone in. A few solider stilled spotted the land around the stronghold and Emery ordered her party in while she raced to the aid of a limping soldier. She practically dragged the man through the gate and felt Cullen's armored hand on her shoulder as she passed through into safety. Another loud roar of the dragon sounded overhead. Everyone now inside the doors were sealed with a heavy thud. Emery passed the injured soldier off to another and the man was ushered away while the Herald waited and watched her Commander for some kind of plan.

"We need everyone back to the chantry! It's the only building that might hold against… that beast." He shouted, climbing the steps to fury burning through his movements and words. "At this point…just make them work for it." He said looking at the young noble before drawing his sword and sprinting to help a cluster of soldier clambering back to the chantry as ordered.

"Let's get these people to safety," Varric called through the rising chaos around them. Heart beating in her throat the Herald jogged through the burning rubble that had started to consume the place she had come consider her new home. Calls for help sound just meters off, racing to the aid of the inquisition soldier they were meet with several Venatori fighters, spells littered the ground poised to strike like a coiled snake. The rouge danced around them in an almost clumsy way as she felt her mind swim and her stomach churn for exhaustion. Clearing them out the group then raced further into the heart of the fighting, in a nearby home being burned to shambles and a cry for help cutting through the charred walls. Emery sent her companion to fight off yet more solider and this time took care of the door. Slamming into it with all her might managing to break it open. After helping Seggrit she and her companion raced to the tavern then up the hill to the healer's hut, saving as many as she could. The pot where they had found Minaeve and Adan exploded as the fire reached them, some of the sharp pottery cut a clean line across the herald's face. The group raced to the chantry, buildings tall sacred walls meant more than religion now, it meant survival. Gathering the last of the survivors the herald took off toward the towering doors, Dorian and chancellor Roderick threw them open. Bidding everyone to hurry and get to safety. After skirting to a stop inside Emery watched the heavy doors slam shut as the dragons earth-rattling roars filled the sky outside. The Chancellor stubbled as he turned to come back inside, he fell only to be caught by the Tevinter Mage. I jumped to help, ceasing the man's other arm and helping Dorian get him to the nearest chair smoothly. The mage crouched down beside Roderick as I hovered nearby, giving the man space to rest. The chancellor was without color, his face drained and his eyes dark. Someone I had felt so much disdain for I now only looked at with pity.

"Herald!" Cullen called and the young rouge looked up to see him run down the hall toward her. His face stricken with worry, voice seeped in fear.

"Our position is no good. That dragon stole back anytime you might have earned us."

"Dammit." Emery sighed as she ran a hand through her hair, blood knotting the strands in clumps.

"There has been no communication. No demands. Only advance after advance." The Herald dragged her gloved hand over her face, letting her hand come to rest over her eyes. The warm plus of the mark beating beneath the leather until she could feel it on her face.

"There was no bargaining with the mages, either. This Elder One takes what it wants. From what I gathered in Redcliffe. It marched all this way to take your Herald." Emery dropped her hand away from her face as Dorian spoke, his words heavy. Rattling her stomach.

"If it will save these people, he can have me." She said, despite any fear of what might befall her if she gave herself up to the creature of unimaginable horror it was better than the thought of the people of haven suffering for something she might have caused.

"It won't," Breath caught in her chest Emery looked to the mage for some semblance of an answer. "Besides taking the Templars, I've no idea what would incur this much wrath." Dorian preceded to laughed at the failed beginnings the Herald had so desperately attempted. When Cullen spoke next it was with the motives of a madman. Emery started at him in shock and saw the pure desperation in his gaze. A hidden begging beneath his golden eyes, he wanted no one to suffer. But still, this was wrong. Dorian quickly stepped in and get in the Commanders face, challenging him and his foolish notions.

"Dying is typically a last resort, not first. For a Templar, you think like a blood mage." Cullen's face twisted with anger as he stood before the mage. Emery wanted to step in but this was a scene so common to her that pure trained nature forced her not to. In that moment she wasn't the Herald, but a chantry cleric who had no right to get involved in mage-templar infightings.

"There is a path." A dying voice called out. Chancellor Roderick sat dying in his chair, looking worse by the second. But ever thought his pain he sought to share the makers light by helping.

"She must have shown me," He whizzed. "Andraste must have shown me so I could… tell you." Weakly the man rose to his feet to better face the prophetess's herald. For the first time since their meeting the Chancellor look at the herald with true belief, his gaze so desperate it burned a hole in Emery's stomach, the same spot where she felt deep down she was no herald of Andraste. With a heavy swallow, The Trevelyan daughter turned back to the Commander.

"What about it, Cullen? Will it work?"

"Possibly, if he shows us the path. But what of your escape?" He asked, stepping closer his hand hovering just above her back almost touching her.

"My escape matters little, just make sure everyone else gets out safely if they can."

"Of course, I will do everything in my power to make it so."

"Thank you, Cullen." She whisper, voice tight with the impending realization of what was going to happen. The commander hovered behind her for a second longer, as if arguing within himself, debating as if he should say something more, or give her some kind of touch of reassurance. But in the end, he chose not to and turned away to rally his men.

"Herald…" Roderick brought her out of the dark depth her mind had plummeted to. She met his gaze with raw fear and desperation unable to hide it in that moment.

"If you are meant for this, if the Inquisition is meant for this, I pray for you." Roderick had seen her worries as clear as day and in his words, Emery took small comfort from the hope of this one man. Gently she clapped a hand on the man's shoulder,

"Thank you, Roderick, for all you've done." With a firm nod of response, Dorian took the Chancellor to lead the rest of the Inquisition. People had since jumped into a flurry of motion. A serious of soldiers ran out the main doors past Emery in a whirlwind, Cullen following up just behind them to inform the Herald.

"They'll load the trebuchets. Keep the Elder One's attention until we're above the tree line." Emery nodded her throat too tight to speak as she started for the door, but Cullen's hand latched out onto her arm, holding her back a moment.

"Please be careful, I would hate to lose you. I-I mean," He sighed quickly letting go of her arm and running a hand along his neck as he looked away from her.

"Just come back." She smiled faintly at his words, fear eating up everything she felt but that small warmth his words gave her.

"I will." She said lightly touching his arm until he looked back to her. "Keep everyone safe."

"I will." He echoed her words. "That means you too." She said with a small ghost of a smile, humor barely able to twist into her words through her paralyzing worry for everyone. He returned her smile solemnly as she stepped away from him. As she reached the door she heard his voice again.

"If we are to have a chance - if you are to have a chance, let that thing hear you."

* * *

AN/ I know I say this everytime but sorry for the delay. I hope you all liked this chapter, even if it isn't anything different from the game, you just had to stick with it until the end. Chapter seven should be out soon, it too follows the story of the game a little closer than normal but shows more of the Inquisitor's mindset throughout everything. Thanks again to everyone following this story, stay tuned!


	7. Family Secrets

The keep was quieter at night, the clusters of everyone from servants to nobles that normally chocked the main hall had disappeared. Nothing to be heard but the gentle crackle of torches and distant footsteps.

Emery nodded to a pair of cooks as the trudged burdensomely up the stairs into the main hall. They didn't even seem to notice the Herald as she loomed behind them on her way from the ambassador's office. The cook and her works were always the earliest to rise and the latest to fall. There was a heavy _bang_ , followed by a crowd of laughter and conversation that seeped in from the tavern outside, the kitchen staff was perhaps not always the latest to fall. Emery smiled as she saw the glowing lights of the tavern as she pasted the main door, no one ever had an early night if they went to the Heralds Rest. Smiling to herself the inquisitor wondered into Solas's rotunda, the young herald could never help the smile that crept across her face when she caught sight of the timeless artwork the elf as strewn across the walls.

"Good evening Inquisitor." The mage greeted from where he was perched onto of one of the tall scaffoldings.

"Evening, Solas."

"Its rather late, I expected you had long since retired for the night, given tomorrows events. What keeps you so late? If I might ask."

"Same as you I suspect. Like I keep telling Varric the work of the Inquisition is never done." Solas smiled down at her, an expression he so rarely showed it looked far too out of place.

"I am simply practicing a hobby, but others would learn from your determination. But you have a long journey ahead of you come morning. I'd advise you get some rest." Emery smiled,

"As soon as I drop these reports off with Leliana, I shall. I wish you a good evening Solas, and do try and get some sleep yourself." The herald smirked up at the elven mage, he would never admit it, but the two had become friends of sorts. All be it very formal, Solas answered all the Inquisitors many inquiries about the fade and its many secrets. Solas possess a well of knowledge unlike any mage Emery had encountered before. Despite their differences, the two had gotten along rather well. Even if they hadn't agreed in Emery's choices to keep the Templar order intact after the events at the Therinfal Redoubt.

"I will try," He said with a small laugh before returning to his painting. Entering into the grand library Emery found there was hardly a soul there. Normally there were a half dozen mages mulling about. Now in the darkened hours of the night, there remained but one man, sitting alone reading by candlelight.

"Inquisitor Trevelyan, you grace me with your presence," Dorian said as he set his book down beside him. With a chuckle and slight shake of her head, Emery gave pause and stopped before the mage, knowing very well she might not leave anytime soon if she did.

"Evening Dorian, it seems as though the castle isn't nearly as quiet as I thought. Half of my companions seem to be up and about."

"I was actually hoping to catch you this evening, what do you say we head over to the tavern for a few rounds? We won't exactly have the luxury of doing so for quite some time come morning."

Emery smiled at the man with a pained look of rejection.

"We leave for Crestwood tomorrow, and I still have much to prepare."

"Such as what? I thought you had everything worked out." He asked stepping up from his chair.

"I still have to review and sign all the construction request and reports. I need to go over the assignments for everyone while I'm away. I have a dozen letters from nobles and dignitaries alike that I still haven't read. I-"

"Or," Dorian said as he slipped an arm over the Herald's shoulders. "You could sit down and breath for just a moment." The mage guiding her into his small cave of books that was painted golden by candlelight. He reached behind his tall chair and produced a tall bottle of some kind of liquor and two glasses. "Just a drink or two with me, I promise I won't keep you all night."

"That's what you said last time," Emery said as she stared at the man with suspicion.

"And remember how much fun it was?" He said with a laugh before taking his seat again and looking at the Inquisitor to do the same.

With a sigh of defeat, the Herald grabbed a chair from one of the nearby tables and dragged it over to her friend.

"But only one drink." She said sternly, but Dorian's smile only grew.

"Of course." With a shake of her head, Emery sat down and took a glass the mage had filled to the brim with liquor.

Despite the mans being a mage from Tevinter he and the Inquisitor had gotten along famously. Their wit was equally matched in one another, their back and forth conversations never seemed to end. Having spent a fair amount of time together when scouting the Stromcoast and the Hinterlands the two had gotten to know one another better then Emery knew most among the Inquisition.

More than once the two had spent long night swapping stories in the tavern. Sharing the annoyances of being born nobility and some of the many interesting times they had fought off suitors of unwanted marriages.

"Come now my friend, we speak far too often about our families, yet I know scars little about yours. Why is that?"

"I'm not supposed to talk about my family."

"Well, your house is hardly a small one, I bet I could find a whole book on it if I wanted. What dirty secrets lay within the depths of house Trevelyan hm?"

Emery looked down at the half-empty glass in her hand, her mouth drawn into a sour line. She couldn't talk about it, no one was supposed to know. Emery sighed and closed her eyes, there was no doubt Leliana and a handful of her scouts knew. It wouldn't take much for the handsome mage to finesse the answer he sought out of one of them. Perhaps it was better for him to hear it from her, or perhaps she simply needed to tell someone after all this time.

Emery looked up at her friend, his typical look of mocking gone, he honestly wanted to know out of what would appear good-natured curiosity. The Herald chuckled to herself and leaned back in her chair.

"Alright, I'll tell you. But be warned its a rather long story," Dorian smiled and sat back eagerly.

"I think I can bare it, besides it's not every day I get to learn noble house secrets like this." He said tipping his glass for her to start. With another chuckle, Emery began.

"I have three siblings. Two brothers and a sister. My eldest brother Kalian, left our house and joined the Templar order when he was fifteen, against my parent's wishes. I was seven when he left. Like any good brother, he wrote home often enough and we saw him when we could. My father, however, was not happy with Kalian regardless. He had been next in line to become head of our house, as you can imagine. His whole life laid out before him, yet Kalian never wanted any of it, thus he left to join the Templars."

"Yes, I can see how that might have been a problem with your lord father. But your brother seems a brave man, set upon creating his own path, not the one handed to him."

"He was stubborn, never took something happily unless he had earned it. I suppose that was why he joined the order. He was so disciplined, noble life didn't suit him at all."

"Was your brother at the conclave?"

Emery's eyes shot up to meet Dorian's, tear lingered at the edge of her vision but she blinked them away. Nodding when she couldn't find her voice.

"Yes," She managed to chock out, "Yes, he was the one who brought me there."

"Your brother brought you to the temple? I thought you had traveled there with the other clerics." Dorian said setting his glass down as he was further intrigued by the story.

"No," Emery took a harsh swing of her drink the put the empty cup down, clearing her throat. "Kalian brought me away from the Ostwick circle when it collapsed into infighting. I was serving there as a cleric in the circle's chantry and he the Knight Captain."

"I see," Dorian waited for her to go on.

"Though, we were not the only Trevelyan children there." She said with a slick smile, trying to ignore the way her eyes still burned at the recollection of her brother's fate.

Dorian raised an eyebrow in interest.

"My second brother, Gabriel, was there as well." She said looking down at the floor feeling the nagging pull of guilt for finally admitting the truth.

"Gabriel? That man you asked after in Redcliffe?"

"Yes, that would be him." She said with a sigh.

"Your brother was no templar then?" Emery looked up to meet his eyes.

"No, he was a mage." Dorian slumped back in his chair as he mulled over the information.

"Damn, I can see why you're not supposed to talk about it." He said with a slight chuckle. "One brother abandons the family for the Templars and the next is forced out because he's a mage. My, that really wouldn't go over well with you southerners now would it?" Emery shook her head with a distant but sad smile.

"Irony; Kalian never wanted what he had been born into, and Gabriel wanted nothing more than just that." The two sat in silence for a time before Dorian spoke up again.

"So I assume your sister took over as heir, then."

"Yes, Alanna and Gabriel were born twins but she had no magic. So while my brothers and I lived in the circle, she got married and has taken up to be the next head of our house, if the day ever comes that our father wishes to step down."

"And what became of you throughout this whole mess?"

"I was young when it all happened, but old enough to remember. It wasn't until I eighteen that when my parents figured I was going to refuse or sabotage any marriage or suitor they sent my way. That's when they sent me to the chantry, set to serves my maker and his bride as many of my family had done before me, I was to be the good child, the example."

"So instead of getting married, you joined the chantry? You were so young, had your whole life ahead of you, how could you just accept that?"

"The same reason Kalian did. I wasn't going to live the life someone else wanted me to live. I wasn't going to let anyone else tell me how to live my life, and that included the chancy mothers. I still lived a full life within the circle, I just had to be more… discreet with whom I lived fully with." She said with a sly smile.

"Had your fun with the Templars then?" Emery giggled and looked at the mage.

"When my brothers didn't catch me, yes." Dorian laughed outright at that.

"Between your brother leading the Templars at the circle and the mages quietly watching your every move I'm impressed you managed to get away with it at all."

"I never truly did," She said with a laugh, "They always found out somehow., though I suppose it was better that way. I had friends among the mages and Gabrial managed to keep those who were not in my favor from spreading the word of my ' _activities_ ' to the mother. Meanwhile Kalian, did the same among the Templars, though he often warned them away from me for good measure. Then at the end of the day I would always receive a stern lecture from the both of them."

Dorian laughed, he opened his mouth to say something but his attention was drawn elsewhere. There was a distant curse follow shortly by a handful of paper that came fluttering down from the landing above. The two shared a confused look before walking over to the railing to watch the papers quietly settled onto Solas's floor, the elf looked at the reports confused. Then the three looked up to see nothing more than a quick flash of armor as someone disappeared from above. With a shrug, Dorian and the inquisitor retreated back into his hovel of books.

"I should probably get these reports to Leliana before I forget," Emery said collecting the papers and tapping them together.

"I suppose I should turn in as well. Morning always comes far too early for my liking, especially with a journey like tomorrows lays ahead of us." Dorian said with a stretch as he collected the disregarded cups and half-empty bottle. As the two turned to leave there was the heavy creak of stairs as someone came from Leliana's office. Turning the pair saw none other than Commander Cullen come rushing by, his ears a flaming red. The man gave them a quick nod in his passing before he continued down to where Solas still painted below. He scrambled to collect the fallen reports, then as formally as ever he turned on his heels and preceded back up the stairs. After the former templar disappear back up the second flight up steps Dorian turned to the young Herald beside him with a growing smile.

"I do think the Commander might have been eavesdropping on us," Dorian said, loud enough as to be heard on the upper level in the silent rotunda. Emery shook her head, but the smile on her face when unmistakable.

"I'm sure the Commander already knows enough about my family history, he needn't hear it again." She lied, knowing Cullen hadn't read the report on her other advisors had; therefore he knew nothing of her family, but Dorian didn't need to know that.

"Sharing late night stories with him as well?" Dorian teased. "My, my you really do have a thing for templars don't you?" He went on. The Herald only rolled her eyes at him.

"Goodnight, Dorian. I'll see you in the morning." She said playful shoving the mage as she made her way up to where Leliana normally lurked. Upon reaching the top of the stairs she found the spymaster was nowhere to be found. The only movement she caught was that of the Commander's as he walked across the room to one of the scouts who had come in from another door.

"Ensure these reports go to Lady Nightingale," Cullen said practically throwing his papers at the soldier.

"And these as well." Emery cut in gentle behind them, handing her own stack of reports to the man. Cullen turned to look at her, a little surprised, but he quickly returned his attention to the scout.

"Right away, Commander, Inquisitor." The man addressed them both before he quickly scampered off leaving the two alone in the now empty room.

"Do you ever stop working?" Emery asked with a laughed as he stood ridged next to her. With a slow exhale Cullen let his shoulders fall a little as if he worried about what she might say.

"There is much that has yet to be done before your departure tomorrow, Inquisitor." Emery chuckled quietly to herself, Cullen turned to face her taking a step back to give her some space.

"Is something the matter?" He asked looking at her with an air of concern.

"No, it's still strange to hear people call me, that is all. I don't feel worthy of such a title." Cullens face softened as he looked at the woman before him.

"Do not doubt yourself, you are worthy of much, your title included." Emery smiled at him through the dim light that colored the space from the sparse spotting of candles.

"Thank you, Cullen,"

"You're welcome, Emery." The heralds gentle smiled grew into a grin.

"You remembered for once." The Commander chuckled and looked at the floor for a second before returning her gaze as if he was thinking of what to say next.

"Well, since we are alone I don't see it being too scandalous for me to refer to you by your given name."

"If it makes you uncomfortable, you can refrain from calling me by it all together." She began, worried that she had crossed a line he had never intended to.

"Not at all. I quite like your name," He reassured her. "It's very beautiful, quite suiting of yourself." Emery stared at the man with a look of surprise. He, however, was serenely calm, until the weight of his words seemed of wash over him. His eyes lighting up in alarm,

"Forgive me, Inquisitor, that was for to informal." He began, taking several steps away from her.

"I quite like you being informal," She said with a smile, slowly approaching him again so they were no longer at such a distance. Now backed against a table Cullen slowly let his eyes flicker up to meet the Heralds. He stared at her for a long time, his eyes dancing over her face as if he was pondering something. Then with a heavy sigh, he spoke,

"I should let you retire for the eve, you no doubt have a long day ahead of you tomorrow." With a polite nod, he stepped around her. Emery scampered back wrapping one arm around herself and holding her hand balled into a fist over her mouth with the other. She looked down at the floor embarrassed, she was to bold, was he not even interested? Yet he thought her beautiful? Perhaps she had misunderstood. Of course, she had. S _tupid, stupid girl,_ she scolded herself.

The Commander stalled at the top of the stairs, turning to face where the Herald remained in the dark.

"Sleep well, Emery." He said with a soft smile.

"You as well, Cullen," She said both confused and relieved.

He had scampered away from her, yet he seemed to relish the opportunity to use her name so personally. Why couldn't think just be simple?

* * *

Hope everyone liked this chapter. As always reviews are appreciated. Thanks again. :)


	8. Distractions

"Commander, I have the report from Ambassador Montilyet you asked for." A soldier called as he hurriedly handed Cullen the rather hefty stack of papers that made up Josephine's report.

"Thank you, that'll be all." He told the messenger with a sigh as he flipped through the many pages.

The metallic clash of swords rang out in front of him, while the recruits trained. It was a comforting reminder that his job wasn't entirely made up of paperwork. Dropping the report to his side, the Commander watched the men with heightened annoyance. Their fighting was sloppy and weak but had improved greatly in the weeks past. Given that the majority of the men and woman who made up the recruits had scarcely even seen a sword before they joined the Inquisition, their progress was nothing less than admirable.

But despite the advances in his men's training, the Commander could not fight the annoyance he felt at watching the sluggish almost childlike way some of the men took to swinging their swords.

But as he felt the heavy weight of the Ambasitors repot hanging in his hand, Cullen realized perhaps his impatience wasn't due to his men's lack of experience. He had long since intended upon reading Josephine's report before the war council meeting in an hour, but he had not intended for the report to be so hefty. The Lady Ambassador did love to make things sound so... political.

"What was that?!" Knight-Captain Rylen shouted at one of the recruits as he clambered up from the dirt, his opponent looming over him.

"I'm sorry, Ser, I got distracted, Ser." The man babbled as he looked at his feet bashfully.

"If this were a real fight, you would have been killed, not just knocked on your arse. In a battle focus on your enemy, nothing else. Understand?" The man quickly nodded and returned to practice with a heightened focus that did not waver under the Knight Captain's stern gaze. Satisfied Rylen once again came to stand next to the Commander, the two had been working closely in training the new recruits who found their way to Skyhold.

"These men and woman have a long way to go before they'll be ready for a real fight," Rylen observed.

"They've come a long way from the merchants and farmers who stumbled here months ago," Cullen said while he scanned over the rowdy bunch all set hard at work.

"Aye, that they have. Though I suspect their inability might stem from added distractions." The Templar said with a sly smirk that drew his Commanders question.

"And what might that be?" With a laughed the Knight Captain looked at his super with confusion.

"You hadn't noticed?" When Cullen continued to look at the man in question Rylen laughed and crossed his arms over his chest with a hardy smile. "You're a better man than I then, Commander. For our lovely Inquisitor happens to be training across the courtyard." Following the direction in which the Knight Captain nodded Cullen saw the man was true to his word.

Inquisitor, Emery Trevelyan, stood by the well nearest the stables, blindfolded as Heir, the strange elf Cullen had yet to speak to, attacked her with a long stick. The Inquisitor herself blindly cut at the air with a pair of blunted daggers, failing every time to block the elf's swift blows. Cullen could hear the Heralds distant cures as the long stick struck her across the back.

Peculiar as it was, it wasn't the exercise itself that was distracting the recruits. Emery had forgone her usual formal attire and she looked far put together self. Instead, she had elected to wear a loss fitting tunic that was probably a size too big and a pair of trousers that were more than form fitting.

Blind to the world around her the Herald lunged out desperately to where she suspected her teacher to be, only to stumble forward into the open air. She was entirely unaware of how low the neck of her shirt had fallen.

 _Makers breathe_ , Cullen thought as he looked away quickly afraid if he stared a moment longer he wouldn't have been able to look away. Now he understood why the recruits had been so distracted.

"Quite the sight isn't it?" Rylen asked with a chuckle.

"What is she doing?" Cullen inquired, still unable to bring his eyes away from the towers above them, he could feel his ears turning red.

"Some kind of rogue thing?" The templar guessed. "She doesn't seem to be doing it very well though does she?" Cullen's attention snapped back to the man beside him.

"She's blindfolded, how she's supposed to defend herself at all is beyond me." The Commander said dismissively.

"It just looks like the elf is beating her with a stick," Rylen said with a rumble of laughter.

"Son of a-" The Heralds bearly stifled curse rang clear across the yard, drawing the attention of all of those near. At the sound of her cry, Cullen finally dared to return his gaze to her. He looked down to find Emery flat on her back all the while Heir stood next to her, a bored expression on her face.

"Again." Was all the woman said before stepping back and waiting for the Inquisitor to collect herself. With a groan, Emery tore the blindfold from her eyes and searched for angrily for her fallen daggers. She bent over to pick them up and Cullen had to look away, again. In his haste to look anywhere but at the Inquisitor Cullen heard a few ludicrous comments come from a pair of recruits, both of whom were staring at the Herald.

"You there!" He shouted at the men, they quickly jumped to attention. "Have some respect and get back to work! Or I'll have you both cleaning latrines for a week." He snarled and the pair of men jumped back to training without hesitation, as did all those around them. The Knight Captain beside him chuckled,

"Very good Commander." Cullen didn't humor the man with a response, just crossed his arms over his chest whilst watching the men with sharp eyes. Doing his best to keep his eyes from falling back to the Inquisitor.

The Herald was a woman of great wit, strength, and personality. Cullen would be lying if he did not admit to being quite fond of her, as most everyone in Skyhold was. The woman he had once denounced as a killer was now someone he thought about often. She was becoming a grand leader and had already done more in a matter of months than the chantry and the order had done in years. Yet many did not see past her deeds and to most, she was a herald of fate, not a woman with the world on her shoulders. The Commander was proud to say he saw past it, that he called her by name and thought of her as a friend. After endless nights in the war room planning troop movements and making sure camps were tended to the two had developed a sense of comfort around one another. Talking without titles or the constant calculation of what to say and do. As the nights ran late the Inquisitor would often ramble on about the smallest things, something Cullen thought was endearing. It made her more human in his eyes, she was a person like any other and when she grew tired, she would talk for hours. In the quiet of his office, Cullen's thoughts often drift back to the Herald and her tired ramblings. It was becoming a problem, and seeing her in the yard training, dressed as she was would only add to this problem.

Knight-Captain Rylen dismissed the men from training and the recruits gratefully dispersed in all directions.

"If you'll excuse me, Commander, I have met with some of our other colleagues. I image you have work elsewhere as well."

"Yes, a war council meeting," Cullen said looking down at the report still clutched in his hand.

"Are you so sure of that?" Rylan said with a smirk.

"Of course, what would make you think otherwise?" The Knight Captain nodded to the Herald as she was still hard at work with her teacher, being brutalized by a stick.

"It doesn't look as though our leader will be joining you anytime soon."

"I'm sure she'll be done shortly."

"Is the Inquisitor usually on time?"

"Well, no, but she's never tremendously late." Cullen managed, thinking perhaps he shouldn't have been so honest on the Inquisitors Knight Captain only laughed.

"She's lucky she's pretty then." He said before walking off with a group of men before Cullen could scold him for the comment.

Shortly after the trailing drills has finished Cullen had made his way to the meeting, he and the two other advisors stood collectively around the large war table. As time dragged on it became abundantly clear their Inquisitor was going to be late, again. An awkward' silence filled the empty space of their leader. Cullen graciously took the time to finish reading the Ambassadors report, pretending only to be checking it.

"She's late," Leliana started, "This is the second time this week." She hummed stiffly, hands clasped tightly behind her back.

"I'm sure the Inquisitor will be here shortly. This was after all a last minute meeting." Josephine tried to soothe the flustered orlesian.

"A meeting she called," Leliana said back to her friend, the annoyance in her voice clear.

"Josie you should speak to her about this, we all have work to do. We can't wait for her all day."

"I'm sure she'll be here soon," Josephine said gently, a nervous tick in the way she held her pen.

"Last I saw her the Herald was in yard training with Heir, I suspect the assassin kept her longer than expected," Cullen interjected trying to keep the spymaster's anger from getting any worse.

"That is no excuse, she is Inquisitor now, she must manage her time better than this."

"She's still figuring things out, just as we all are, Leliana." Josephine defended

"She's a noble and former chantry sister, she should know the importance of punctuality,"

"She is yet young Leliana, this is a lot for her to take on."

"Her age should not matter for if she is to-" Leliana, stopped speaking when the sound of a door being thrown open echoed down the hall, followed by a set of sprinting footsteps. The footsteps raced to the door up stopped short of entering. There was a pause, Cullen closed his eyes and prayed she would just come in, lest the former chantry sister get even more impatient.

There was the loud heavy creak as the door opened and the Herald stepped inside sheepishly looking at the ground.

"I'm sorry I've kept you all waiting, time got away from me." She said, her cheeks colored pink from both running and her embarrassment.

"It's quite all right Inquisitor, we understand. But now that you are here let us begin." Josephine said with a gentle smile and light tone,

"Yes, lets," Leliana added, her words far sharper than her counterparts.

Emery approached the table, her hand crossed over her chest defensively as she refused to meet anyone's eyes. Instead she of voting to stare at the large map and studied its many markers. Looking her over it was clear to the Commander that she had just sprinted straight from the courtyard to the war room. She wore the same loss fitting tunic as before, only now it clung heavily to her body. The blindfold was now gone and her hair was messily swept behind her ears, it had slowly grown longer over the last few months, now flowing freely down her back and across her shoulders.

"Is that- Inquisitor are you bleeding?" Josephine asked worried as she stared at the woman across the table from her.

The Herald's eyes jumped to her Ambassador in surprise, Emery reached up and swiped her thumb across her lip only to have it come back wet with blood.

"It would seem I am, yes." She said, looking down at the bloody pad of her finger. Emery used the sleeve of her tunic to wipe away any remaining blood from her mouth. Yet that was not the sole body of her wounds. There was a cut through her left eyebrow, blood was patchily smeared around her eye but she no longer bled. There was a series of bruises on her exposed arms, and she no doubt covered across her torso and legs as well.

"And what news do you have for us, Commander?" The Herald asked drawing Cullen back to reality when he hadn't realized he had been staring. Tracing the red flush of the herald's skin down her neck to exposed tops of her breasts.

"Oh, um, yes. My reports." Cullen hastily gathered up the handful of papers he had brought with him and handed them out to the women. A flush of his own threatening to creep into his checks.

The war council meeting soon drew to a close and as the two other advisors filed out of the room Cullen made suit to follow but stopped. He turned to see Emery bent over the table, head in her hands. The bright red color of her face had not dissipated throughout the meeting and she had looked far from comfortable throughout its duration.

"Shit." He heard her mutter quietly into her hands.

"Is everything alright Inquisitor?" With a sigh, Emery waited for the door to latch shut behind her other two advisors before speaking.

"I'm a right poor Inquisitor aren't I?"

"Of course not," Cullen said as she circled away from the door to her side. "Why would you-" But she cut him off before he could finish his question.

"I scarcely ever make a war council meeting on time. I have managed to embarrass myself in front of every single nobleman or woman I'm introduced to. Josephine tries to assure me it's not that bad, but I can tell she's lying, clever as she is. I have no patience to sit and write the reports everyone needs me to, and even when I do they're not done properly. And beyond all that I made a total fool of myself today in the yard." She said straightening up form the table, her face was drained and tired, bright eyes heavy with disappointment in herself.

"How will I get the respect of anyone who witnessed that?" She said gesturing a hand toward the door.

"Inquisitor," He said getting her attention, her tired eyes rimmed with red. "No one thinks any less of you for your stumblings in training, you were blindfolded."

"Then why were they watching me, laughing?" She asked, her voice cracked with emotion as all her troubles flooded to the surface at once.

"They weren't laughing, I assure you."

"Then what?" She asked Cullen took a heavy swallow before answering.

"They were simply watching, your training was quite strange after all, and it would seem a few of the recruits are rather… taken with you." Cullen said scratching the back of his neck. The Herald's eyes shot wide, as she looked at the Commander.

"Please tell me you're joking."

"I am not." She leaned heavily back against the table, throwing her hands over her eyes again with a loud groan.

"That's even worse. How will our men ever respect me if they think me some stumbling maiden?"

"Inquisitor," But using her title alone elected another groan of objection. "Emery." The Herald's hands dropped away from her eyes at hearing her given name. Stepping closer to her Cullen ensured she was listening.

"You have more than prove yourself as our leader. After your feats as Haven, our men would follow you anywhere. You are the Herald of Andraste, I suppose it was only fitting that she chose someone as beautiful as legend say she was." Much to his refile a smile rose to the Herald's lips, but her eyes didn't leave the floor.

"Tell me truthfully, Cullen, as my friend. How do I fix this?" She asked, her gentle smile slipped away like a shadow chased away by candlelight. The heavy fear that clung to her eyes made a pit open up in the Commander's stomach, he wanted so badly to see her smile again.

"You have nothing to fix, you need only practice." He said reaching out a hand and gently touching her arm. He had touched her before he had even realized what he was doing, wanting to retract he couldn't lest she think he was horrified by the action.

Emery watched his hand for a time before speaking, she did not retreat away from him and he hoped his touch had comforted her in some small way.

"Thank you." Her voice was small but sounded less troubled. She raised her eyes to meet his and Cullen was swept up in their silvery blue depths.

"You're welcome." He said, slowly taking his hand away, the warm feel of her skin bleeding threw his glove lingered on his hand. She looked down to where his hand had been resting on her arm as if she regretted his removing it.

"I should let you return to work. I'm sure you have much to do." He said stepping closer to the door, in fear that he might stare at her all day where he not to leave.

"Of course," She said straightening with a sigh, the tension in her shoulders was there but seemed to be less. With a nodded the Commander made for the door, his time with the woman of his fascination up.

"Cullen," She called again. When he turned from where he stood at the door to look at her the Commander was pleasantly superseded to find a bright smile on the Inquisitor's face.

"How is it you always know just what to say?" Her words were gentle and sincere but Cullen couldn't keep himself from laughing.

"I don't know if you recall our previous conversions Inquisitor, but that is far from the case." She joined his laughter, a sound so soft and sweet he worried it could be broken from the weight on her shoulders.

"Never the less, I enjoy our time together. We should find a moment for that rematch game you owe me. I will not be defeated again." She scolded with a light and bubbly tone.

"I would like nothing more, come find me when you have a chance?" He asked.

"Its a date." With that said the Commander left the Herald to be alone in the war room. Returning to his office Cullen kept replaying their conversion over and over in his head fearing he had said something wrong. But at the end, she had smiled and laughed and nothing made him happier than to know she was better off because of something he said.

The herald clouded his thoughts for the rest of the day. She was so gentle he wondered what it would be like to hold her in his arms or to feel her lips against his own. Shaking his head the Commander stop his thoughts abruptly before his mind wondered further. He needed to leash his fascination before he said or did something he shouldn't.


End file.
